The Frontier Fantastic

A Ghostly Collision
Or, why you never want to try and ignore Lotho

Lotho “Shorty” Hornblower, “Salty” Skylla, Tyrion Swordforge and Preachy AKA Brother Oblivion decide that they wish to travel to the far away port city of Haleen. The city is about three weeks journey and they decide to work for their passage. The majority of the trip is quite uneventful, however, when they are only a few days away from Haleen, a dark mist rolls up around the ship. From within the mist a ragged ship sails straight at them and rams through their ship, for the mysterious ship is insubstantial.

Our ship is boarded by ghost pirates who saunter about the ship terrifying and insulting the crew. They make no move to attack anyone and don’t seem to know what to do with our brave adventurers who aren’t afraid of them. Trying to investigate more into this ship Lotho jumps through it and notices the captain’s chamber with the captain in it. He then is dangled into it via a rope to his waist where he begins to try and parley with the captain. The captain wants nothing to do with Lotho or any of the crew and wants them to hurry up and wait to die so his crew can take the ship without any violence.

Noticing that the captain is getting tired of his constant badgering Lotho gets pulled up into the ship and casts message at the captain over and over and over for hours. He engages in witty banter such as “Hey, hey hey Guy! Why won’t you let us just leave?”. While Lotho is busy torturing the ghost captain, Skylla and Tyrion are trying to figure out how to scare or damage the ghostly crew. Skylla is pretty sure that she can hit them with Magic Missile, but is sure that she can’t cast it enough to kill all the crew. Tryion tries to attack one using his magic sword, but it goes straight through the ghost. The ghostly assholes find this very amusing and begin to laugh and laugh at Tyrion. Coming to her friend’s defense, Skylla casts Magic Missile at one of the laughing ghosts killing it on the spot. The rest flee.

After a bit the captain emerges with some of his chosen crew and challenges us to a ‘fair fight’. They seem to be at least somewhat upstanding ghosts as their fair fight means that they are corporeal and we can attack them. After Skylla casts fireball at them all the captain succeeds in possessing her, but before he can act Brother Oblivion realizes what happened and casts Hold Person on her, whereupon the captain flees her body. With the ghosts playing fair, the fight is handily won and the ghost ship disappears.

With no other excitement the ship makes it to the port of Haleen. As reward for their saving the ship, we are given introductions to merchants and the government of the city.

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Playing with fire
Some trolls just don't learn!

Lotho “Shorty” Hornblower, “Salty” Skylla, Alia “Sneaky” Therun, Danilo Therun, Amot “Horns” Baal Hamon, Tyrion Swordforge and Brother Boris The Fluffy meet in a tavern in Blizrig where Horns was holding court as The Rave Queen. Some of her would be worshipers inform her that many of the temples in the city have been attacked and set on fire. Rumors are that the firestarters were massive, 10 ft tall robed figures that seemed terrified of the fires.

Tyrion, Skylla and Lotho recall Yinga The Scrag, who they’ve worked with in the past. He often wore a robe that made his large troll body fit the description quite well. Skylla is able to track down Yinga and meets up with him in a tavern. He is in town preparing for another voyage. While Skylla is talking to him, Tyrion and Lotho see two large hooded figures approaching the eastern gate of the city and intercept them. The figures run!

Rounding a corner Amot demands that they stop in the name of The Rave Queen. They call back demanding to know why they should stop. Lotho obliges and turns into a Tyrannosaurus Rex and roars at them. Cowed, they agree to take us to their temple where we can learn their faith. As we leave the city with them Boris makes a valiant effort to convert them, but they seem too frightened of their fire god to listen to him.

They lead us to an atol where the cave with their temple is, but they refuse to accompany us inside. After we enter, we find some dwarfs with fiery beards! They are priests of The Flame Lord. They arrived here through a fiery rift. Lotho begins to investigate the chamber they are in and they try to stop him. Brother Boris defends Lotho and swings at one of them. During the chaos of the ensuing combat the stalagmites begin to move and attack us! Lotho notices that one of them moved and revealed a stairway down. As the rest of the party continues to deal with the enemies he sneaks down the stairs and sees that there are fire elementals holding open a flaming rift. He rushes back upstairs and calls for Skylla and Amot to destroy the roof and let the ocean rush into the cavern to end the elementals and their portal.

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Brother Boris and the Capitalistic Kobolds
Magic signs and the power of a silver piece!

Lotho “Shorty” Hornblower, Tyrion Swordforge, Preachy AKA Brother Oblivion and Amot “Horns” Baal Hamon meet Brother Boris, another member of Brother Oblivion’s faith. Together they all decide to check in on the Kobolds that have been living in the sewers. But, on the way to visit the kobolds, they are waylaid! The ruffians demand Horns’ money as they know she is a queen. Before things come to blows, Brother Boris convinces them to take some of his ‘vitamins’ and be on their way.

Once in the sewers they quickly find the kobolds, but are told to be quiet for the little kobolds in the eggs are sleeping! Yes, happily, there are now kobold eggs growing in the sewers! Once away from the eggs the kobolds are very excited to explain that they’ve found a job! It seems they have a job cooking at night at a tavern. They are paid in some of the food that they cook. As we make our way to help them with their job some of the details become clear. It seems that they have hired themselves to do this ‘job’ after hearing talk on the street about Capitalism.

Once we arrive some of them create a distraction (with the aid of Lotho in Giant Ape form) and the rest rush into the kitchen and begin to ‘cook’. Kobolds seem to have a very different palate than the rest of us as their cooking seemed to involve taking any sort of spice, dumping all of it they can find into the pot and then looking for more ‘ingredients’. It quickly became apparent that they weren’t hired to cook here and also didn’t know how to cook.

After a short time they were convinced to stop for the night and go take cooking lessons from Tyrion while Brother Boris ‘cleaned up’. Brother Boris, sighs “Ah, yes. We meet again kitchen!” and then tries to salvage what he could of the food, mostly by infusing it with his ‘vitamins’.

Meanwhile, Lotho was able to learn much the same information as the rest of the party from the kobolds he created a distraction with. He then gave them some ‘magic’ signs to show to food sellers. This ‘magic’ is so potent that it fools food vendors who read it into giving the kobolds food in exchange for a single silver piece. He also exchanged one of their gems for 1000 silver pieces so they will have plenty of ‘reagents’ for the ‘spell’

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Lotho is irresponsible with magic and we fight some bandits
I know you've always wanted a beanstalk in the middle of your town, right?

While his companions are off adventuring, Lotho takes a well earned break and hits the town intent on seeing all that Gizrik has to offer. He finds some drinking and gambling buddies. However, one of them gets sicks and Lotho takes him to an apothecary to get him all fixed up. However, Lotho forgets that all of his cash is tied up in his gambling and can’t pay the apothecary, who promptly curses Lotho and kicks him out of his shop. When Lotho goes back the next morning to pay him, he refuses as he is a sticker for prompt payment.

Meeting up with his friends in River New Bergwest Lotho learns that while he was learning all about Gizrik his friends had found a tree with magic pomegranates. After eating one of them a magical sword appears in his lap! He eats another and nothing happens and then promptly eats a third. Suddenly, a 12 foot tall demonic figure appears in the tavern where they were drinking and booms out “Lotho Hornblower, you have crossed me and for that I shall ruin everything you love!”

Lotho is no longer welcome in that bar.

With our buzz killed, we decided to go out and earn some money. The Sheriff didn’t have anything for us, so we headed over to Gizrik to see if there was any work to be had there. When we arrived, we learned that there have been a number of attacks by human bandits and a reward was offered for their capture.

We are able to track down the bandit’s lair. They have a ‘Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Shreaking Fungus’! Lotho promptly challenged the lead bandit to a duel and won. We then pretended to want to work with the bandits, Bob, George and Fred, but planned on ambushing them at the arranged meeting place. Fred, it turns out, is a badass. We are still able to defeat them and find some loot in their cave. After bringing them back to Gizrik to face justice Lotho decides to plant the three magical beans he found in the nearest plot of dirt, which, just happens to be in the middle of Gizrik. One of them turns into a peach tree that disappeared after a day or so. The second turns into a statue of Lotho that seems to hate him, cursing him when he’s around and trying to convince everyone to kill him when he’s not. The third grows into a beanstalk that pierces the heavens!

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A shortcut to Gizrik
Or, how we searched ruins and fought spiders

Returning to Berg River Westnew we were paid for our efforts clearing out the undead in the graveyard. Since the Sheriff didn’t have any other work for us, we decided to go and investigate the ruins of a castle that we could see from town.

As we approached the castle we found farmland and farms nearby. As we investigated a bit closer, we discovered that the farmers were goblins! In our brief conversations with the goblins, we learn that Giant Spiders have attacked them in the past. Continuing on to the castle, we discovered the castle covered in vines. Inside the ruins we found the corpses of some goblins. As we were continuing to investigate the area with the corpses, we were attacked by a gargoyle! He is hopping mad! In order to investigate for more traps, a field mouse is recruited. His name is Herbert.

As we head away from the castle we search for the source of the terrible spiders. We are able to locate their cave and Lotho “Shorty” Hornblower bravely snuck upon it and threw flaming oil inside. Lotho contemplates changing his name to ‘Lotho Firechucker’. The spiders boil out of their cave and we are quite thankful to find out that the large ones are vulnerable to arrows. After dealing with all of the large spiders the party investigates the cave and discovers that one of the cocoons has a goblin that’s still alive inside.

The goblin leads us back to Gizrik. After staying the night we meet the mayor the next day as thanks for our hard work in saving goblin lives. We tell him of Berg West Newriver and the city assembles a delegation to go and begin to open trade relations.

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A lovely stroll through an undead infested Graveyard!
AKA, maybe we should have listened to that ancient writing...

After recently arriving in Berg New Riverwest, Lotho “Shorty” Hornblower made some new friends. He and his friends were looking to help folks and so approached the local Sheriff. The Sheriff seemed a bit drunk and sensitive about it. However, he did tell us of an Ancient Graveyard a few hours travel away. As a group we decided to journey there and see what mysteries we could discover there.

Upon arriving there we were beset by Skeletons! Fortunately, these skeletons didn’t pose much of a challenge to our combined might! After casting Comprehend Languages, Lotho was able to read the inscriptions on the skeleton’s armor. “All hail the eternal Tyrant Master!” As we investigated the cemetery we discovered a large crypt. Inside the crypt we found many rooms and more undead. There was also a fountain and a pool of ‘goop’.

The group then took a vote and made Lotho the party leader. This is a heavy responsibility that he doesn’t take lightly. It also means that he’s responsible for everything that goes wrong.

Venturing further into the crypt, we found a stairway down. Ancient writings were carved into the walls of the stairway reading “Wake not the Eternal Tyrant Master”. Not letting some old writing stop us, we continued down the stairs. In a room at the bottom, we found a big zombie-ish thing. But, as Lotho noted, aren’t they all big zombies?

We were able to defeat this big undead. And there was a small moment of rejoicing, for clearly, we had just defeated the Eternal Tyrant Master! Intent on exploring the rest of this floor fully, Lotho knocked on the next door and was greeted by three unfriendly undead like the one we’d just fought, except, one of them was even bigger!

This time, the fighting quickly went against us and we were forced to flee!

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